A couple of days ago, something happened (which I will not go into) that upset me. It was a like a small stone landing on my large unsteady pile of doubt and insecurity, and it caused a landslide that destroyed everything in its path.
So yesterday, I quit writing.
Oh my goodness. I got so much done! I cleaned up and organized my little boy's bedroom. I washed like four loads of laundry and got them all folded and put away too. Parts of my house that haven't been cleaned in ages are now clean. I played my guitar. I took my kids shopping for a few things they needed. Oh the free time! The lack of stress and guilt! I could totally run for PTA President. Or take up scrapbooking. Or run a marathon or something.
Except by the time I went to bed (at a decent hour, no less!), I had a little, painful sliver of desire to curl up in my beanbag with my notebook.
So, today I will start again. Or maybe tomorrow. Or next week. But sometime soon I will start writing again.
Because I must.
Still, the landslide did a whole lot of damage and I'm going to have to find a way to repair it. Any suggestions you have are welcome. I am trying not to dwell on the small stone that started it. I know it's just a little rock, but at the moment it feels like a ten ton boulder in my heart. I know I'll need some time to heal. I won't call yesterday a day off or a short break because in my heart and mind, I really did quit. It was a kind of therapeutic.
Now, I guess I'm ready for a fresh start.
