Success only flourishes in perseverance -- ceaseless, restless perseverance.
--Baron Manfred Von Richtofen

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Time to Facebook And a Time to Refrain From Facebooking

One of my Facebook friends recently posted. "Face your problems. Don't facebook your problems."

Do you agree or disagree with that sentiment? (Do you think facebook is a verb?)

I tend to agree. At least for me, in the way I use social media, I have definite boundaries about what to post and what not to post. I try to keep it positive. After all, what happens on Facebook (Twitter, etc.) stays on Facebook. Forever. For everyone to see.

It may be okay to post, "Had a bad day at work." But it's not okay to post an all caps, profanity-laden rant about how much you hate your job. At least, not in my opinion.

My own rule of thumb is that I can never, ever use social media when I am angry. True story: The day I started my Facebook account, I deactivated it a couple of hours later. I was mad. The urge to get online and vent my frustrations was almost overwhelming, and I knew what a disaster that would be. I have learned the hard way that it is easy to say things online or in email that I would never say in person. And that's not the face I want to present online. So, I don't use social media when under the influence of anger.

What about you? Do you have any social media rules you stick to?


Small Town Shelly Brown said...

I try to post things I wouldn't mind compiled into a book with my name on it.
I also only post pictures that I wouldn't mind being shared.
In short, I treat the internet like something that can be saved forever and when I run for president, you can dig up ALL my internet stuff and it wouldn't hurt my campaign (I have NO intentions of running for president but you get the idea)
I'd like to live a life I am proud of. I am not proud of all of the thoughts that run through my head, therefore, I don't post everything.
I think I just danced around your topic in ill-worded sentences. ENJOY!

tiffany said...

i try to keep it positive and when im haveing a bad day or am mad i try to keep it to a limit and watch how i word things

Christine Rains said...

I completely agree. I don't vent or get too personal. I'm actually slowly drifting away from FB. I check it only once a day now. My email, on the other hand, I just leave it permanently open!

MaDonna Maurer said...

I agree, I try to keep the anger out of the posting. When angry I just stay off of FB and any other social media.
If I feel I need to get it out of my system, than I open up Word document and lash out on the keyboard, or I get out the journal and write there. I'm a writer, so writing out my feelings helps me to process it all and to just "get it out" of my system. Later I can read it and decide if I want to keep it or to delete it. But, I got the chance to write it out and not be public for all to see. =)

AstonWest said...

I generally refrain from posting or responding to "hot-button" topics as well.

Melanie Goldmund said...

I don't "do" Facebook or Twitter, but as a general rule of thumb, I try not to say anything on the internet that I wouldn't say in real life, face to face.

Linz said...

I agree with that statement, and I totally respect your boundries. I try to be positive too. Sometimes I'm not, but I keep on trying!

And yes - facebook has become a verb. Sad stuff.

Terry W. Ervin II said...

I too limit the content/topics I post on facebook. Sometimes I scratch my head at what others post--about what's going on in their personal lives, etc.

Angie said...

Thanks, everyone for the comments. I think the general consensus is that not everything belongs on Facebook. I can see if you are just friends with close friends, it would be a little different than a more public profile like mine. Venting in a journal is definitely a good idea! Thanks for stopping by, everyone!

Windy Aphayrath said...

Love that line! I just might have to plagiarize it. I know so many people who get all passive aggressive online (FB & Twitter) that it's really ridiculous how they're every going to solve whatever the issue is.

Shallee said...

I SO agree with this! I tweeted something once that was a bit too personal-- and forgot about the myriad of people who see it. I was mortified when someone I'd forgotten was on my list tweeted back and wanted details of something I actually didn't want to share details about.

That was the day I REALLY learned that ranting, and even just personal stuff doesn't belong on social media. That doesn't mean I'm not personable-- but nobody wants my full life story, and I can't take it back once it's up there.

ali cross said...

Your friend is brilliant! And yep, I do not think ANY social media should be used as a place to air your dirty laundry. Keep it private, private. (I'm not nearly as clever as your friend!)

Aubrie said...

Oh yes! I don't shout out all of my life's problems on my social media. Thank goodness.

That's a good quote.

LTM said...

I think you're absolutely right about the rants. But I also think the more experienced folks get, the better they get at what to post and what not to post. Email your friends for support. Don't blast the world.

Great reminder, Ange! :D

Tyrean Martinson said...

I completely agree, and yet I've definitely messed up a few times, and complained about something or another. It is never ok to use profanity while facebooking, and it is really a bad idea to get into personal arguments. The other day I facebooked about insomnia, and felt bad that I shared that with everybody. Did it matter really that I had one bad night of no sleep? Is that how I want to be remembered as a whiner? No.

I think God's purpose for my life is something better, and I need to remember to choose to glorify him, or at least to honor the fact that I am HIS. Even if I don't post about my faith all the time, I want to keep it clean and positive.

And yes, facebook is both a noun and a verb in our times.
Great post Angie!!!

Angie said...

Thanks, Aubrie. It's a good policy.

For the record, Tyrean, I've never seen anything inappropriate on your posts. But being positive is a good thing! Thanks so much for stopping by. =)

Jackee said...

Amazing how many people use it to rant. Even if they don't see themselves as ranting, it can quickly become misconstrued as such. Facebook is good in so many ways, but I'm surprised how many people are watching that you haven't a clue are. I agree it's always best not to post mad. :o)

Happy weekend!

Elizabeth Mueller said...

I post things that are never too personal--if so, I code it into poetic form: I've earned a very close friend doing that, too.

I won't ever put my kids' names in public nor their images.

Thanks for being such a great friend, Angie! *hugs*


Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?

YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!

allanbard said...

Excellent blog! Interesting post about unappropriate use of social media... You are absolutely right, such sites should be used for positive thoughts and quotes, we meet with too much anger and curses, etc in our daily life. So let social media be a place for positivism ;)...
I usually try to post a good quote (from some of my works or said by a famous and wise person), a funny joke, or some good photos every day. I guess that's better than posting angry statements or crazy curses...
I guess you'll appreciate a suggestion of mine too: using sites like,, fiverr, etc? They could be a good way for promotion and "removing" stupidity in streets like headlines on t-shirts, fridge magnets, cups, etc. of the kind My Boyfriend kisses better than yours, FBI - Female Body Inspector, etc... Every author could use some good, wise quotes from his/her works, some poems, illustrations, etc. I'm allanbard there, I use some of my quotes, illustrations, poems, like: One can fight money only with money, Even in the hottest fire there's a bit of water, All the problems in the world lead to one - narrow-minded people, Money are amongst the last things that make people rich, or
Let's watch the moon, let's meet the sun!
Let's hear soon the way the Deed was done!
Let's listen to the sounds the shiny crystals played,
let's welcome crowds of creatures good and great!
Hope such lines look much better than the usual we see every day? And could be useful not only for author but for all the people? Best wishes! LET THE WONDERFUL NOISE OF THE SEA ALWAYS SOUNDS IN YOUR EARS! (a greeting of the water dragons' hunters - my Tale Of The Rock Pieces).

Maeve Frazier said...

Hi Angie - Another great post! I don't use facebook at all for my writing. I have all that I can do to keep up with blog and occasional twitter!

Anonymous said...

I agree. I save those for emails to friends or face to face interactions. Bad things on the internet can come to haunt you.

Have a great weekend.

Danyelle L. said...

Very wise advice, for sure. I go by the rule that if I don't want the general public to know something--including prospective agents and publishers and readers, then it's not something I say on any of the social networking sites. I pretty much leave the social networking up to my professional persona and vent in private. O:)