
Giving a critique, on the other hand, opens your eyes to what works and doesn't work in a story like nothing else can. Critiquing forces you to define what engages you in a story and what throws you out. What makes the writing invisible and what makes it intrude.
One of the best things I ever did for my own writing was to become an editor for Mindflights. I have learned so much about what it takes to write well just from reading and judging submissions. (If you ever get a chance to do something like that, take it!)
So, a few rules for giving good, useful critiques:
#1: Be honest! This is the first and foremost rule in my mind. A critique is useless if you aren't truthful.
#2: Be kind. Yes, you can be both honest and kind. Remember the feelings of the person receiving the critique. You have to state your honest opinion, but you can do it in a tactful way. (You can be blunt, but don't be rude.)
#3: Remember that it is just your opinion. The other person does not have to take all of your suggestions and that's okay. I usually prefer not to know if they've taken my suggestions. (Unless I've asked for a rewrite on a submission. Then they'd better take my suggestions!)
I should probably state for the record that I don't belong to a critique group. I have not found them effective for me. Luckily, I have some trusted writer friends who are willing to give me feedback. Maybe face to face critique groups have different rules to consider. I don't know.
What has been your experience with giving critiques?