Critiques Part II: It is Better to Give Than to Receive

When it comes to critiquing is is truly better to give than to receive. Receiving critiques is important, but generally, while you may get advice that can carry into your other work, getting a critique will only help you with that story.

Giving a critique, on the other hand, opens your eyes to what works and doesn't work in a story like nothing else can. Critiquing forces you to define what engages you in a story and what throws you out. What makes the writing invisible and what makes it intrude.

One of the best things I ever did for my own writing was to become an editor for Mindflights. I have learned so much about what it takes to write well just from reading and judging submissions. (If you ever get a chance to do something like that, take it!)

So, a few rules for giving good, useful critiques:

#1: Be honest! This is the first and foremost rule in my mind. A critique is useless if you aren't truthful.

#2: Be kind. Yes, you can be both honest and kind. Remember the feelings of the person receiving the critique. You have to state your honest opinion, but you can do it in a tactful way. (You can be blunt, but don't be rude.)

#3: Remember that it is just your opinion. The other person does not have to take all of your suggestions and that's okay. I usually prefer not to know if they've taken my suggestions. (Unless I've asked for a rewrite on a submission. Then they'd better take my suggestions!)

I should probably state for the record that I don't belong to a critique group. I have not found them effective for me. Luckily, I have some trusted writer friends who are willing to give me feedback. Maybe face to face critique groups have different rules to consider. I don't know.

What has been your experience with giving critiques?

How to Give and Receive Critiques Well

This was the second panel I did at CONduit. A very important topic for writers. I have been giving and receiving critiques for seventeen years now, so I think I know a little bit about it. For the sake of shorter posts (we all like shorter posts, right?) I am going to divide this topic into two different posts. Today's will focus on receiving critiques.

You need feedback. No matter how long you've been writing. No matter how good you are. You need to be critiqued. It's not always fun, but it is necessary.

Rule #1 when receiving a critique: Don't take it personally.  It's not you being critiqued. It's not your story. Your story exists in your head and it is perfect. What is being critiqued are the words you have used to convey your perfect story into the head of the reader. (Remember the "This is my manuscript. This is me." routine? Use it again here.)

Rule #2: Everyone's opinion is valid. If someone is expressing their opinion, it's their opinion. You don't have to agree, but don't argue with it. Make sure you thank those who have taken the time to read and give feedback on your work.

Rule #3: You only have to take the advice you want to take. The story is yours. Listen to all the feedback, comments and suggestions. Let them sit a few days. Then, make the changes that you feel excited to make. If you don't think a suggestion will make your story better, ignore it. This is so important. Get feedback, take suggestions, but never never forget that this is your story and no one else's. You have to stay true to it.

Do you have any advice on receiving critiques? I'd love to hear it.